I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
