He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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