that's an acceptable place to lick
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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