trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
