a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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