Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
