I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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