Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
