i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
