That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
