So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize