Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
