i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize