But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My penis needs a shock collar
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
