I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
