We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
barbara walters just said penis...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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