Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
