If that was your dad, he is hot
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize