so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
