If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
