i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
