Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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