i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
