life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
