I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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