I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
