I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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