I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
