doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
