I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize