I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
