I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
