I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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