I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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