i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
