dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
