I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
