Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
