I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
