To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
