i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
