Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
