were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
