You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can I color on your dick again?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
