I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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