Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
