But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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