I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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