he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize