careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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