It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
