is your mom at the bar?
the condom got lost in my hair
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she looked like the before picture.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
