gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
