So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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