That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
