In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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