Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
