I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
