he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
